Let them construct a sanctuary for Me …

I have this memory of an experience from a number of years ago. 

I’m in Barcelona, a city I’ve always wanted to visit but now that I’m here I’m stuck in my hotel room lying on a bed whilst the world goes by outside my 8th floor window. Gorgeous weather. Blue skies. What is up with that?

I had visited La Sagrada Familia earlier that morning and was left with an incredible sense of wow! What a building! What a sense of awe!  Whatever reasons Gaudi had for constructing this sanctuary, he was on the money when it came to drawing one in to a strong sense of the Ancient of Days.  That sense of being in a holy place.  It was practically tangible.  Within my mind I promise myself that I will return on Monday …  (Sadly I was unable to fulfil that promise ☹.)

Lying here now however, I am aware that I should “get up, go out, be a tourist”. But my feet hurt.  Inadvertently I had walked for a mile in 3-inch heels with post-chemo neuropathy!  Who needs it!  Dinner with the girls in an hour but truly?  I’d really rather just lie here. My age?  Or my state of mind?  Or just plain old needing to rest?

Quietly, quickly, my mind wanders, silently reflecting on people. My visit to the Lord’s sanctuary had provided another opportunity for me to engage with people and so many of them!  My observations were that no matter where we are in the world or what language is spoken, humanity can get so caught up with appearances, looks and labels. We all want to fit in, be mainstream.  My mind was on a roll when hang on! It dawns on me that I too fall into that category but by choice, I tell myself - because I want to do it.  Not because it’s the popular thing to do.  My justifications sound shallow even in my head.  People, of which I am one, continually fascinate, irritate ... The human engagements can bring joy and distaste in varying measure.  And here I am about to re-engage.

Daily, I find myself wanting to live, laugh, love, cry. 

Live because life is for abundant living.

Laugh because it’s wholesome and joyful.

Love because we should do so - extravagantly.

And cry because crying is sometimes very necessary and sooo thoroughly soul cleansing.

Instead I do what I think is expected.

I live ever so slightly limited …

I laugh only if something’s apparently funny …

I love those who are ever so easy to love …

I cry but only for a little and I quickly tell myself to get it together …

That day, so far, had been query-some and tiresome. But without question it had been also so very awesome. 

I visited La Sagrada Familia.